The Promise

[اميرة الاحلام]

She said through her tears: "You promised
to take me with you this time
You always leave me behind
Don't be childlish,sweetheart ,I won't be long_
Promises ,promises .Sorry,I don't believe_
you anymore. The last time you told me that
was four years ago
She left him standing there under the pine
tree that witnessed their love
When he walked back to his house, the sky was pouring its blessed rain to water
the dying hearts ,that lived love and breathed

its juicy fruit
/

written by me

[عاشق قنص]

nice nice

keep going sis

u will get it one day

[بسـ الطفـε(｡◕‿◕｡)зـوله ــمة]

i like the poem telling story style

but this poem is mysterious ,
because I didnt get why the lover left him

why didnt he kept his promise

was it a betrayal or something else

nice poem sis

thank u for sharing ur poems with us

Regards

[Little Cat]

I like the story telling poems as well, but a very important thing is missing in yours; it's the goal. Your poem is simply aimless and this is a very important point we need to notice and focus on.

Poetry is a beautiful art, it's the perfect way for us to express our thoughts and feelings, but to make it a useful thing as well, we need to fill it with lessons.

Your poem is very good for a start, you'll be even better by practice so keep writing.

Thank you for sharing the poem, we hope to always see you in the forum

[دموع الاصايل]

nice peom

thank you

regards

[queen luv]

nice wordz an ur idea is perfect